Welcome to the 7th season of Coast 2 Coast Fantasy Football League

Playoffs? Playoffs?! PLAYOFFS!

Do you hear that? No, it’s not the sound of Christmas joy and children playing in the snow. It’s the sound of tears of defeat and tears of joy. Week 14 proved to be a decisive factor in the playoff rankings. Nearly half the league vying for a spot to etch their name in C2C FFL lore, and unlikely help from unlikely places finally gave us the bracket on who will be sticking around, and who will be taking the slow train back to Philly.

Bye Week Analysis
Wet Ass Punts
How the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks does this guy clinch the division?! After yet another highly questionable draft for Adam Grubb, the boys in the WAP camp are sitting pretty with the number 1 seed and a first round bye in the quest for glory. In a surprising twist of events that relied on MNF to crown a victor. Chase Brown and the Cats got the job done to beat the Military Industrial Complex from Baghdad and force Dr. Bartenstein MD Esq onto the hot seat. Thanks to an all-time performance from Josh Allen, and highly questionable bench management from Baghdad, WAP was able to clinch the division, a playoff berth, and the first round bye. A much-needed sigh of relief to give this GM an opportunity to give his guys some rest and get their minds right.

East Coast Hogs

We are going to need the whereabouts from GM Patty OB on December 4th, because this guy might have been the United Health Care assassin. Cold blooded, little chatter, just getting the job done. A rare trait to have these days especially in the contentious and wild West Division. It was no secret that Pat was playoff bound, everyone and their mothers knew it by week 6, so it was really cool of him to catch a breather in Week 14 and give Hanging with Hernandez a Make a Wish Win to boost his ego.  His efforts throughout the regular season gave him a first round bye, but he’s going to need to manage that roster because 96.3 points in week 14 might be fine, but when its win or go home, that won’t cut it. Call it an off week, call it whatever you want; but this guy is dangerous.

Round One Analysis

Biloxi vs Rebels

No this isn’t your average politically divided extended family holiday dinner; this is two alpha dawgs who happen to be cousins, looking to rain on each other’s parades and only one can move on. The Cunts have been looking to trim the bush recently after a couple stumbles late in the season, but a convincing week 14 win over the Slashers, proved they are some grade A nookie. With Richardson coming off the bye, GM Cerrone is expecting big production from his young QB, even if Richardson doesn’t show up, Justin Jefferson definitely will. That said, the Cunts are going to have to be squirting on all cylinders to cover their current -7.5 projected spread to face WAP in the battle of the pussies in Round 2. On the flip side, we have a GM who, true to his team’s hometown roots, has been fighting out of the trenches all season. Biloxi got absolutely curb stomped in Week 14, but this is a wakeup call for them. Not much can be done when you get into a build battle and your opponent cranks a 180 on your head with the OG purple tac shotty. That didn’t discourage GM Connor Miller, who when interviewed stated, “This is a great opportunity for us to evaluate where we need improvements and strengthen areas of weakness.” It’s really a roll of the dice in this game to see who wins, but Biloxi is praying that Tin is at the table come Sunday. Although this is a family affair, make no mistake, these two GMs will not be sitting next to each other come Christmas Dinner Time.

Baghdad vs Hernandez

Alexa, play “Me and the Devil” by Soap&Skin. In a matchup mired in controversy and outright playful hatred. Baghdad and Hanging both want this one BAD. On one side we have the young and hungry second year GM Bartenstein who is making his first playoff appearance of his career in C2C. With key wins down the stretch, and arguably more had he managed his bench better and not gotten so many points against, his salvation came in the 11th hour to shatter rookie Ty Dunmyer’s dreams of waltzing his way into the big dance. The story line really isn’t about Baghdad, everyone knows he has the goods to blow up key infrastructure given the right players show up. But can we just talk about KEVON for a minute? Baghdad completely fumbled the nuclear football by leaving Jordan Addison on the bench to lose week 14 and the only way in to the dance was for Blue Balls to fulfill their destiny and notch their second win of the entire season against the same guy he got the first one on. Thanks to an average performance from Joe Burrow and a lackluster one from Gus Edwards (lol), Cheesehead’s dreams turned stinky like a wheel of Camembert. Tyler wasn’t able to close the gap and Kevin Miller slithered away to deliver Baghdad their playoff spot by a whopping 7.24 points! As for league villain Jason Cavanaugh, the Hernandez camp is looking to silence all of the talk and defuse the bomb on Baghdad’s dreams. With a track record that would’ve gotten him a bye if he was in the West, he’s now having to take on the .500 junkyard dogs from Baghdad. As much hate as this GM gets, he refuses to let it rattle the cage. Jason through and through just finds a way to keep winning. That said, analysts debate that he really hasn’t had a terribly tough test yet. With only 1710 points against, he might run into trouble if Baghdad sounds the incoming missile alarms. Both teams have their respective stars, but this one is going to come down to team ball through and through.

 ROUND 2!!!!!

THE 11, 7, AND 9 SEEDS ARE ALL CHUGGING ALONG DOMINATING THEIR FIRST ROUND IN CONSOLATION BRACKET. THE MATCHUP OF THE WEEK IS ACTUALLY TEAM FOUR LANE VS HASH SLINGING SLASHERS. THESE MAY BE 2 OUT OF THE HOTTEST 4 TEAMS IN THE LEAGUE. GOIN 2 BE A SPECTACLE. 

TDS V TWCS WILL BE A SLUG FEST AND BIG OL TDS REALLY NEED  A WIN TO STAY ALIVE IN TOILET BOWL.

WOODYS AND BLUE BALLS ARE GOOD GUYS AND HAVE GOOD STUFF GOING FOR THEM IRL.

WAP VERSUS REBEL CUNTS

JOSH ALLEN IS ON A 4+ PT FANTASY STREAK. LET THAT SINK IN. CUNTS ARE SCARED, BUT THEY HAVE PLAYED THESE GUYS TWICE NOW, ONCE IN A SHOOTOUT TAKING THE L AND A SLOW BURNING W. THE CUNTS LOOK TO SLOW THIS GAME DOWN AND HOLD WAP TO UNDER 130. IF THE CUNTS DO THAT, THEY HAVE A SHOT. JUST A SHOT. 

ECH VS BAGHDAD

THE HOGS HAVE HOGGED ALL SEASON AND EARNED THEIR REST WEEK, BUT THERE ARE RUMORS THAT THEY DID NOT REST AT ALL AND WERE GRINDING ON A STELLAR WINNING STRATEGY. THEY ARE GOING TO NEED IT BECAUSE THESE BAGHDAD BALLISTIC MISSILES HAVE BEEN THE BEST TEAM SINCE SLICED BREAD SINCE THEY BEGAN THEIR PLAYOFF PUSH. LED BY LAMAR, DEVANTE, BIJAN, AND ADDISON, THIS TEAM HAS MORE BOOM POTENTIAL THAN... WELL, BAGHDAD IN 2000s. WILL THE HOGS HOGG OUT A WIN OR WILL THEY GET BLOWN TO SMITHERINES BY THE RED HOT MISSILES

jason vs connor doesnt have as much shine since conrad v jason blew up yesterday ya know?